EP: 167- How to Have More Confidence Part 2


This week’s episode is all about How to Have Confidence Part 2. During this episode we are going to deep dive into how when we break agreements with ourselves we are eroding our confidence layer by layer. Learn the key questions to ask yourself to ensure you are saying yes to what you can commit too and how to restore your confidence when promises are broken. 


Nick and KISMA

03:35 - BEFORE WE DIVE IN - Addiction
Alcohol abuse and addiction run rampant in our world. Often times it is happening behind closed doors and although we know something is not what it should be we tend to dismiss it. But in the end we know there is really something going on… if this sounds like you, reach out, Nick would love to have a conversation.  hello@illuminationpodcast.com 

- Nick

04:22 - Let’s Get Started
“Today we're talking about what we're doing to ourselves and how we are eroding our own confidence.  We are getting out of integrity with self, we're telling little lies to self, things that you might not even be aware of. But it definitely, over time, erodes your confidence.”  This lack of integrity is the kingpin to our confidence and our productivity!

- Nick

05:17 - Broken Promises
How many times have you set an alarm to get up at a specific time, then hit snooze when it goes off? You had a full list of things you desired to do, but based on when you actually got up items had to fall off the todo list.  So now you have started your day with a broken promise to yourself. 

- Nick

06:44 - The Escalation
So you make an agreement with yourself to get up a specific time and you don’t.  One promise broken. But likely that specific time had a specific task assigned to it such as to walk or move, now you have broken two promises to yourself before you have even meditated, connected with someone or set your intention for the day.


09:11 - More examples
Just like that snooze button, breaking your word to yourself can show up in food, drinking alcohol, eating sugar. Oh, it's five o'clock I really want sugar. I think I'm going to have that piece of candy. Or I'm not going to drink. Oh, but it's like 8:00 PM a glass of wine would be amazing. “However, somewhere before that moment was a decision about being a better version of self, whether it's for health or productivity or sleep. It was like, I am not going to do this, and then we give in and we do it. So we break promises to ourselves. It's those little ones that matter, little ones that add up.


11:54 - Different Iteration of Self
What does success look like to you? If you expect yourself to be up at 5:30 every morning because that is what you ‘think’ success looks like, but you are simply not a morning person, what do you do?  In our Ultimate Life Tool - we work through what looks like success based on who you are (grab a copy by emailing hello@illuminationpodcast.com).. It’s a great tool. 

“That successful person, they're up at 5:00 AM they're at the gym, then they’re off into their life and people think, well, in order to be successful, I have to do that.”  what if that isn’t YOUR success formula? You could be saying YES to something that isn’t a fit for you…


13:24 - Know Yourself / Your Truths
When you really get to know self, you have to ask why do you break the agreements with yourself, as innocuous as you think they might be? What is it that is making you stop and not do exactly what you say you're going to do?  This is the important piece! Why do I not think I'm not worthy enough to hold the agreement? Or am I just in this habitual pattern of not holding agreements? Who do you want to be in the world to yourself? Do you want to be telling truths?  These are vital questions to unravel the answers to when it comes to build a solid foundation around your confidence. 


17:50 More Impactful than You Think
A lot of people do really well in jobs because they've got somebody holding their feet to the fire. They have somebody to be accountable to. Unfortunately, often when these people leave that very accountable job to become an entrepreneur they just fall off into the abyss because there's nobody holding their feet to the fire. They never built that muscle for themselves.  It's very disempowering because then as you erode that confidence, especially if you're wanting to have more independence, more empowerment in your own life, you chip away at and it's gonna send you right back into that old pattern. You're going to want somebody else to tell you what to do.

- Nick

21:31 - The solutions
For all the ways we break promises to ourselves, whether it's food, whether it's alcohol, whether it's exercise, whether it's conversations, whether it's business building, my GoTo is complete awareness. It's like lean back for two weeks, slow down, go deep and have that awareness throughout your day. So you’re awareness is key always. We've got to see where we're out of integrity, where we're breaking agreements, and then it's easier to catch...



Michael Lanigan

L truly love to listen to both of you and the new logo Rocks!

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Kisma Orbovich

thank you my dear friend!

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