EP: 171 - Why You Don't Have What You Want Part 1
This week’s episode Why You Don't Have What You Want, Part 1 is about understanding if you don't have what you want, you're resisting it in some way, shape or form. When we understand why we don't have something, our dreams, our desires, et cetera, we get to shift it. So let’s dive into the shift!
Nick and KISMA
03:28 Resistance Stops You
So we want to understand why we don’t have what we want. Maybe somebody wants a new job, maybe those of you that are building businesses, you want to hit a certain financial place. Maybe some of you want a new relationship or a relationship where you are not resisting what you want.
When you clear out the resistance, because we have this beautiful universe and substance that we pour into. When you clear out the resistance, that very thing or the opportunities show up for you to acquire that dream.
Of course we have to take action. This is not about sitting on this sofa and just thinking our way through life. We're physical beings, but the opportunities are there for us to create what we want every single day!
05:00 - Ask the Question
We are going to break this down for everybody in three different episodes. Today: where am I resisting? What am I resisting?
So in your experience, what do you see in general when a person's in resistance? How do they describe that, how do you describe that? Like what does it feel like?
06:07 Physical Evidence of Resistance
There can be fatigue and exhaustion in the physical body and there can be a heaviness in the emotional body. It's just like the phrase nothing's working or I don't get it. Why can't I have what I want? There's a lot of doubt in the human instead of excitement and energy and moving forward.
The fact is, we can be on one of our most challenging, time consuming, even taking months or years project to create and if we're not in resistance, we're in the flow. We're excited, we're building and if something doesn't work out, we pivot and we ask questions and we come back. BUT if we're felling heavy and exhausted and fatigued, we're not allowing it in, I always use when I go there, it for me, feels like I'm pushing a brick house up a hill, it's so excruciating.
08:48: Ah - the Ease of Flowing
When I reflect back to things that came to me easily and almost in a miraculous way, I had a sense of detachment or being unattached to the result. There was always this, kind of gratitude, praise and ease and expectancy as well that things would work out.
10:57: Who has to be wrong for you to be right?
One resistance we really want to talk about today is making others wrong or a variation of making situations wrong.
If there's something that you want, if there's a dream, if there's a goal, if there's an ideal that you want to realize and somewhere in your life you are making somebody who has realized that wrong, you're definitely creating resistance.
13:25 - Revealed in Culture
I'd like to take that in a much broader perspective. Like when we look at our country and the division that we see. The division that we see around politics and ideologies and all these sorts of things, it really speaks directly to this. And it's something that we can all flip on a news channel or read an article at any moment and see this in motion and see the results of it. In a broad way, the red side is making the blue side all wrong and the blue side is making the red side all wrong.
18:55 - Going Neutral
Here's the thing, we do get very set on the right and the wrong. And in our society theres always a right, or a wrong. Cause as soon as someone says a wrong, there's a right, we do not have to agree, but we can be neutral. We can get to a neutral place where it's like, okay it didn't work out or I don't have to like it. I don't have to not like it, but I can be neutral.
If there's a challenge you get to build resiliency, like really taking ownership, always of the journey, taking ownership of, okay, why, why did I resist that? What in me needs to make something else wrong? Get to that piece and let it go.
Very simple. You'll never get more as long as you make others wrong for having what you want. You'll never get more. You'll never be more as long as you're making others wrong for having or being a certain way.
22:54 You’re Perfectly Placed
It reminds me of one of the things that Swami constantly says in Vedanta teachings: “you're always perfectly placed.”
You're always perfectly placed. You know, it's so hard to think that because you're like, I'm not perfectly placed. I don't have what I want. Right. Whatever that perfectly placed to see it, to see the next step. That's something that we're going to unfold a future podcast...