EP: 177 The Big Leap, Part 1

This week’s episode we are covering a book that is really special to us called: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (grab on Amazon here.) It's all about self sabotage and overcoming our upper limiters.

01:57 - Big Leaping!

2020, the year of perfect inner vision. We are big leaping everyone.

KISMA

01:16 - Covering The Big Leap

You know that if we're covering a book, either it really meant something to us in our lives or it's something that we think would be super relevant to all of you or both. And this one happens to be both.

Nick

02:23 - EEK! Self Sabotage

Gay has such a way of really distilling this conversation around self sabotage and adding so much clarity to it. You know, cause I think it can be kind of a tricky conversation for people because it's the last thing that anybody thinks about. It is definitely more of a subconscious conversation. Nobody's thinking, hey, things are going really awesome. I think I'm going to totally screw it up right now.

Nick

03:04 - The Subconscious Whisper

It does become this subconscious whisper like things are going great and I better screw it up.

KISMA

04:19 The Problem

In the book Gay explains the problem.. He states it very clearly, “I have a limited tolerance for feeling good when I hit my upper limit. I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad. The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings. Though I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general, when I hit my upper limit, I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory. I get into a conflict with my ex wife, get into a money bind or do something else. That brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance.”

Nick

06:10 - Fear of Losing 

It goes back to some of those Vedanta teachings of when we desire something, there's agitation until we get it and we get it and then we immediately have a fear of losing it. It's like such a form of attachment.

KISMA 

05:30 - Expecting of breakdown

I can't tell you how many clients and people I've talked with that things are going well and they have this feeling of impending doom.

Nick

07:11 - Sometimes Things are Not Good

The energy coming in and going out with life isn't all going to keep being “good.” There's the events of life. And then I think what he really gets into here, which I know you'll share is like how we see something and then we really focus on it not working and it expands.

KISMA

08:12 - Breakdown in the Awareness

We don’t think like, Oh, this is going great. I must be totally sabotage. Or, if things are really starting to spin out, I must be totally sabotaging myself. 

Nick

8:50 - Ask Yourself This!

In the book, Gay, asks really great questions. Such as: “How can I extend the periods of contentment in my life?”

Nick

09:14 - Now Ask this Question!

If I can eliminate the behaviors that stop the flow of positive energy, can I learn how to feel great all the time?

Nick

10:00 - The BIG question!

Then he asked the big question, “can our species live in expanding waves of peace and prosperity, free from the pattern of messing things up when they are going well?”

Nick

10:25 - Ask Great Questions (go ahead we dare you!)

I love that because it's taking ownership. I just taught a class for my Ashram people and we were asking questions around Soul statements that we created and anytime we ask our brain a question, there's like an immediate pause. Which is why I feel like Gay Hendricks work is so powerful in The Big Leap because like you said, he's asking these really great questions.

KISMA

10:50 - Seriously, Ask Yourself this Question

Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?

Nick

11:05 - Performance Pressure

You're in control of that actually. And I like how he phrases it, really uniquely feel good inside, right inside.. And that's the thing that comes up time and again where people feel so pressured with time and with doing things and trying to fit it all in, so that they can do things right or accomplish the things that will make them feel good.

Nick

17:11 - We Were Not Born This Way :)

Why do you think we seem to be preprogrammed to self sabotage, I don't think we come in as pure divine babies self-sabotaging.  I think there's, there's things that happen. Agreements, hurts, pains, need to be right, needs to be safe. So then we kind of flip back, you know, when things are going well. 

KISMA

24:28 - Going Deeper into The Big Leap

Well, the next episode we are going to talk more in much more depth about those hidden barriers. So it's important, fears and false beliefs around uh, or that underpinned this site, this pattern of self sabotage.

Nick